Catch it.

So, today I heard my dog rooting around in the bathroom - and that can only mean one thing: eating kitty litter. My dog apparently is not only a connoisseur of things that are left in the litter, he eats the litter itself. The. Clay.Litter.

I walk to the bathroom with the hope that I catch him in the act and can give him a threatening, serious "NO!!!" to deter him from a repeat performance, but I got a little more than I bargained for. When I walked into my bathroom, my dog was firmly standing in the litter box with his head pointing toward the litter box entrance, just scratching and munching away at that litter. Let me be clear, he had to fit inside a not-so-big entrance and completely turn himself around to get in that position. The litter box walls are 18 inches high and the box is not much bigger than he is. Seeing him inside that box felt a little like what walking in on your Dad while he's trying on your Mom's dresses probably feels like. It prompted me to stop and say "Wow" and smile out of pure embarrassment before giving him a second to get out of the box while I looked away. I think it made me blush. Thinking about it now, I wish he would learn to use the litter box, instead of treating it like a buffet. (I feed my dog, he's just a glutton.) In a strange way, it was the most human moment between us ever.

More on topic: I did not get drafted onto a team. I think it would be melodramatic to say that I am heartbroken, but I felt pretty low about it - enough so that I needed a lot of time to just retreat and sort myself out before I felt comfortable in writing about it. At least for now, I have some perspective on things and the time has healed a little bit of the rawness. If I choose to be, I will be up for the draft during the summertime. I'll update you all about it a little more later, but that's the big headline on this front.

The Carpenters sang it best....

Happy New Year kids!

I had a lovely, if short, holiday break. This year I decided to fly back home to see my family, who I haven't seen since I finished grad school in 2008. Going into Christmas weekend, I was super exhausted. Exhausted to the point of doing and saying things that did not make sense. My flight out was supposed to be at 7:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve. I had practice until 11 the night before, and then had to wash clothes and pack once I got home, leaving about 2.5 hours available for sleep. On my way to the airport, which I have driven to many times and is not a small airport by any stretch of the imag-0, I got lost. Then I proceeded to curse as my wretched Tom-Tom would not stay powered up and then would not pick up a satellite signal. I missed my flight by 3 minutes. When I talked to the Delta customer service, I was given the following choices...

A. Wait for the next available coach class seat, and arrive at my destination at midnight.

or

B. Upgrade to business class and get there by noon.

Now, I'm all about saving the dough lately, but I wasn't going to sit in an airport all day on Christmas Eve. I sat in bc for the first time in my life. Each seat had it's own private alcove. The seats adjustments were motorized, and (I'm not kidding) they had massage features. As soon as I sat down, I put that thing in the full horizontal position and had some wonderful, wonderful sleep for the entire flight.

I also had some really fantastic impromptu naps - where I would just curl up on the couch and sleep while my 4 yr old niece and my 8 yr old nephew were running and screaming all around me. I was also limping from falling on my wonky knee during practice. I walked up and down the stairs by only pushing with one leg - like a 3 yr old who hasn't quite mastered balance enough to climb stairs normally. We played Settlers of Cattan, I ate lots of cookies and cheese. It was a great weekend to rest up, catch-up, and recharge.

There's no place like home for the holidays.

Quick update

Happy holidays folks,

Just a quick update. Things have been super busy as of late. Last week I finished up a 12 hour day at work, went to 2 hours of practice, went home, washed my clothes, tried to pack, got 2.5 hours of sleep, got lost on the way to the airport, missed my flight by 3 minutes, had to upgrade to business class, and managed to get home on Christmas Eve. Business class was fantastic, as I can't sleep very well sitting up. Having the ability to lay down in a palatial seat with nobody bugging me was heaven, and I got some good quality sleep done on the plane. It was expensive, but it was really worth it to see the family.

I had a chance to work out some of the exhaustion build-up over the weekend, with spontaneous naps that closely resembled narcolepsy. My sister commented that I resembled her 4 yr old when I decided to curl up on the couch for a nap in the midst of 2 small children playing wildly. For a few weeks now, I have been saying things that haven't been making sense. I have also been dragging at practice. I hope to continue to get some quality rest this week and have a decent work/life balance going on, we'll see.

On Wednesday night, I also managed to tweak my left knee which manifested itself in a visible limp on Thursday. This made my sister ask "You're not going to skate on your injured knee, are you?" The inflammation has died down, and it feels a ton better. I plan to get back on skates later this week (the knee will be all better, I promise). I have approx 2 weeks to pass the final assessment before I am eligible to get drafted onto a team. I am apprehensive. I worry that I won't have the energy or the skill to pass the assessment. Although I am getting better, it might not be enough before the deadline. If that is the case, I will have to make my peace with that and work towards joining a team mid-season.

On the other hand, I am doing my best to stay positive and do my best for the assessment and approach it like I will pass it. This has been a crazy ride. It has been the toughest thing I have ever been through. I am really proud of the work that I (and my fellow fresh-meat) have put into this process. Although I still feel a little lost on the track, I compare that to where I was 5 months ago, and I have made huge improvements in something I had no experience in before.

Journey. Destination. Something cliche but true. Going to bed. G'night.

Big things, pt. 2

Well, I passed my red assessment on Wednesday night, and I have one more assessment to pass before I'm eligible to be drafted onto a team. We needed 55 points to pass, and I got 58 (out of 80). I was not that excited about my performance, but a friend put into perspective: "That's three more points than you needed."

Now it's on to scrimmaging, where I can try to put all of these skills into context while receiving the beating of a lifetime.

Speaking of beating of a lifetime, I re-bruised myself in the same spot as my previous huge bruise. It's not quite as big, but still gross, and a hematoma has formed underneath it (again). I keep showing it off at practice and saying, "touch it, touch it, it's totally lumpy!" Today somebody asked if I should perhaps go see a doctor about it, but I'm not sure what a doctor could do for it. It's not impeding my walking or skating, and unless I'm poking at it, it doesn't hurt - I just can't sleep on it. So, it's more icy-hot and epsom-salt baths this week! You can check it out in all of it's purple-green glory below.

it's a long hard climb....

Things have been a mixed bag the past two weeks. I did not pass my red assessment, and I have been battling a combination of feeling under the weather and working extreme hours. I plan on taking my red assessment again this week, and I've been practicing my blocking and using the holiday weekend to get in a little free-skate time, but I'm still worried that I won't pass. I am definitely feeling behind the curve as most of our fresh meat class has moved on to scrimmaging. I have oscillated between feeling like my best is good enough - no matter what the outcome, and having a hysterical (and I mean freaking hysterical) crying episode at practice last week. It feels like the more I practice, the worse my blocks become.

However, judging from our forum activity, a lot of the fresh-meat are feeling this way. So let me dispel the rumor that there is no crying in roller derby, because the fresh meat have been crying so much lately that we warrant our own emotional help hotline. So, I know I am not alone in feeling like this. As somebody once told me "don't compare what you feel like on the inside to how other people look on the outside", which is true. If we didn't share this stuff on the forum, I might never know, and so I know we are working through it together...and not that misery loves company, but it's a little comforting to know it's part of the process, and not just me.

I have decided that even though I can't make it to practice as often as I'd like, I will still get in my skates 5 days a week, even if it means just skating around my apartment. Thanksgiving was spent on skates, practicing pivots and plow stops. I also practiced blocking against the wall, for what it was worth. Every little bit helps, and it certainly can't hurt to do some squats in skates during commercial breaks.

Wish me luck!

sock blocking

I took my written rules test yesterday and passed. Now I'm wondering if I should have used that practice time to practice my blocking and pack skating instead - because I need the practice. We have our next assessment coming up on Wednesday, and I'm not up to par yet. For the blocking, I need to work on timing and skate control. Ultimately, I need to practice some stuff at home - like blocking in a doorway (hitting each side of the doorway with my body while on skates) and keeping my weight over my heels. For pack skating, I need to work on keeping my feet "small". What this means: keeping my skates on the ground and using minimal motion to propel myself forward while skating within touching distance of several other skaters, so I don't trip them or myself. I also need to work on quick recoveries from falls, as my knee drops don't seem light enough - and they take me way out of the pack. Well, lots to work on.

The vets have been trying various drills to get the fresh meat to learn how to scrimmage. Last week, we tried a "sock scrimmage", where we just ran around the track in our socks, blocking each other and trying to jam through the pack. We were wondering if the vets just made us do that to get a good laugh, because we must have looked so stupid. It was ridiculous and hilarious all at the same time. Yesterday, we started working on defense and offense in packs while on skates, and I looked stupid, but for a different reason - as I was tripping and falling all over the place - and I wasn't effectively leaning anybody out or blocking. Hmmm, at least it will be good motivation for me at practice today.

On another note, the National Championships are today, and you can check it out live on http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/, or watch the bout on archive. It will be the Oly Rollers vs. the Texas Rollergirls. I had a chance to watch Texas at the Southern Fried Smackdown - and this will be some crazy derby action. These are some amazing athletes, and they dress cool and do it all on skates. One of our pack of fresh meat will be hosting a watching party at her house today - so I will probably check it out there.

In other more personal news, I am fostering a dog. Long story short, I found her through our team classifieds section, so I am watching her until her home situation gets figured out. She is tiny, so she is getting along well with my Jack Russell terrier and is getting along as well-as-can-be-expected with my cat. She's a farter, but she's an incredibly cool dog. If I get a chance, I will post some pictures here.

that's what she said...

The hematoma from my great big bruise is finally dying down, and now I feel a little less injured when I skate. We have been practicing blocking and pack skating in preparation for our next assessment. During a recent practice, we got split up into groups of 4. I was in a group with three vets. One vet kept yelling at me to get lower in derby position, then she'd knock into me pretty hard during our drills. I'm sure it was a 50% hit for her, but I am apparently the Monica Seles of derby, in that I grunt like a farm animal anytime anybody hits me. I think the other vets were worried about me. I know I need to get lower. I'm trying to get lower. It's not easy. I was kind of irked. I know she meant well, and I'd rather it be her than an opposing team that is teaching me these lessons, but I just needed some time and space to allow it to soak in. After the next practice, she let me know that I was improving - so that's a good sign. After practice yesterday, my quads and calves are feeling it - so I know I was working the derby form.

Although I'm not good at it yet, I really like blocking. I think blocking may be my thing, but I'll give it some more time before I come to a decision on that one. I will occasionally land a really solid hit or lean somebody off the track - which feels really cool - just like the first time you learn to skip a stone over the water or learn how to whistle. I see a lot of practice on timing and a lot of squats in my future. oy.

random quote from a practice where we were practicing the "sit and hit" drill (where one blocker booty blocks the jammer and another blocker swoops in from the side to knock the jammer off of the track):

Sitter (realizing she needs to booty block a little bit more): hmmmm, I need to get you further up my butt.

me (jammer): that's what she said.

Don't worry, it's all good clean fun.