DerbyBetty

Catch it.

2010-02-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

So, today I heard my dog rooting around in the bathroom - and that can only mean one thing: eating kitty litter. My dog apparently is not only a connoisseur of things that are left in the litter, he eats the litter itself. The. Clay.Litter.

I walk to the bathroom with the hope that I catch him in the act and can give him a threatening, serious "NO!!!" to deter him from a repeat performance, but I got a little more than I bargained for. When I walked into my bathroom, my dog was firmly standing in the litter box with his head pointing toward the litter box entrance, just scratching and munching away at that litter. Let me be clear, he had to fit inside a not-so-big entrance and completely turn himself around to get in that position. The litter box walls are 18 inches high and the box is not much bigger than he is. Seeing him inside that box felt a little like what walking in on your Dad while he's trying on your Mom's dresses probably feels like. It prompted me to stop and say "Wow" and smile out of pure embarrassment before giving him a second to get out of the box while I looked away. I think it made me blush. Thinking about it now, I wish he would learn to use the litter box, instead of treating it like a buffet. (I feed my dog, he's just a glutton.) In a strange way, it was the most human moment between us ever.

More on topic: I did not get drafted onto a team. I think it would be melodramatic to say that I am heartbroken, but I felt pretty low about it - enough so that I needed a lot of time to just retreat and sort myself out before I felt comfortable in writing about it. At least for now, I have some perspective on things and the time has healed a little bit of the rawness. If I choose to be, I will be up for the draft during the summertime. I'll update you all about it a little more later, but that's the big headline on this front.

The Carpenters sang it best....

2010-01-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year kids!

I had a lovely, if short, holiday break. This year I decided to fly back home to see my family, who I haven't seen since I finished grad school in 2008. Going into Christmas weekend, I was super exhausted. Exhausted to the point of doing and saying things that did not make sense. My flight out was supposed to be at 7:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve. I had practice until 11 the night before, and then had to wash clothes and pack once I got home, leaving about 2.5 hours available for sleep. On my way to the airport, which I have driven to many times and is not a small airport by any stretch of the imag-0, I got lost. Then I proceeded to curse as my wretched Tom-Tom would not stay powered up and then would not pick up a satellite signal. I missed my flight by 3 minutes. When I talked to the Delta customer service, I was given the following choices...

A. Wait for the next available coach class seat, and arrive at my destination at midnight.

B. Upgrade to business class and get there by noon.

Now, I'm all about saving the dough lately, but I wasn't going to sit in an airport all day on Christmas Eve. I sat in bc for the first time in my life. Each seat had it's own private alcove. The seats adjustments were motorized, and (I'm not kidding) they had massage features. As soon as I sat down, I put that thing in the full horizontal position and had some wonderful, wonderful sleep for the entire flight.

I also had some really fantastic impromptu naps - where I would just curl up on the couch and sleep while my 4 yr old niece and my 8 yr old nephew were running and screaming all around me. I was also limping from falling on my wonky knee during practice. I walked up and down the stairs by only pushing with one leg - like a 3 yr old who hasn't quite mastered balance enough to climb stairs normally. We played Settlers of Cattan, I ate lots of cookies and cheese. It was a great weekend to rest up, catch-up, and recharge.

There's no place like home for the holidays.

Quick update

2009-12-27T18:30:00.000-08:00

Happy holidays folks,

Just a quick update. Things have been super busy as of late. Last week I finished up a 12 hour day at work, went to 2 hours of practice, went home, washed my clothes, tried to pack, got 2.5 hours of sleep, got lost on the way to the airport, missed my flight by 3 minutes, had to upgrade to business class, and managed to get home on Christmas Eve. Business class was fantastic, as I can't sleep very well sitting up. Having the ability to lay down in a palatial seat with nobody bugging me was heaven, and I got some good quality sleep done on the plane. It was expensive, but it was really worth it to see the family.

I had a chance to work out some of the exhaustion build-up over the weekend, with spontaneous naps that closely resembled narcolepsy. My sister commented that I resembled her 4 yr old when I decided to curl up on the couch for a nap in the midst of 2 small children playing wildly. For a few weeks now, I have been saying things that haven't been making sense. I have also been dragging at practice. I hope to continue to get some quality rest this week and have a decent work/life balance going on, we'll see.

On Wednesday night, I also managed to tweak my left knee which manifested itself in a visible limp on Thursday. This made my sister ask "You're not going to skate on your injured knee, are you?" The inflammation has died down, and it feels a ton better. I plan to get back on skates later this week (the knee will be all better, I promise). I have approx 2 weeks to pass the final assessment before I am eligible to get drafted onto a team. I am apprehensive. I worry that I won't have the energy or the skill to pass the assessment. Although I am getting better, it might not be enough before the deadline. If that is the case, I will have to make my peace with that and work towards joining a team mid-season.

On the other hand, I am doing my best to stay positive and do my best for the assessment and approach it like I will pass it. This has been a crazy ride. It has been the toughest thing I have ever been through. I am really proud of the work that I (and my fellow fresh-meat) have put into this process. Although I still feel a little lost on the track, I compare that to where I was 5 months ago, and I have made huge improvements in something I had no experience in before.

Journey. Destination. Something cliche but true. Going to bed. G'night.

Big things, pt. 2

2009-12-05T15:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I passed my red assessment on Wednesday night, and I have one more assessment to pass before I'm eligible to be drafted onto a team. We needed 55 points to pass, and I got 58 (out of 80). I was not that excited about my performance, but a friend put into perspective: "That's three more points than you needed."

Now it's on to scrimmaging, where I can try to put all of these skills into context while receiving the beating of a lifetime.

Speaking of beating of a lifetime, I re-bruised myself in the same spot as my previous huge bruise. It's not quite as big, but still gross, and a hematoma has formed underneath it (again). I keep showing it off at practice and saying, "touch it, touch it, it's totally lumpy!" Today somebody asked if I should perhaps go see a doctor about it, but I'm not sure what a doctor could do for it. It's not impeding my walking or skating, and unless I'm poking at it, it doesn't hurt - I just can't sleep on it. So, it's more icy-hot and epsom-salt baths this week! You can check it out in all of it's purple-green glory below.

it's a long hard climb....

2009-11-28T16:32:00.000-08:00

Things have been a mixed bag the past two weeks. I did not pass my red assessment, and I have been battling a combination of feeling under the weather and working extreme hours. I plan on taking my red assessment again this week, and I've been practicing my blocking and using the holiday weekend to get in a little free-skate time, but I'm still worried that I won't pass. I am definitely feeling behind the curve as most of our fresh meat class has moved on to scrimmaging. I have oscillated between feeling like my best is good enough - no matter what the outcome, and having a hysterical (and I mean freaking hysterical) crying episode at practice last week. It feels like the more I practice, the worse my blocks become.

However, judging from our forum activity, a lot of the fresh-meat are feeling this way. So let me dispel the rumor that there is no crying in roller derby, because the fresh meat have been crying so much lately that we warrant our own emotional help hotline. So, I know I am not alone in feeling like this. As somebody once told me "don't compare what you feel like on the inside to how other people look on the outside", which is true. If we didn't share this stuff on the forum, I might never know, and so I know we are working through it together...and not that misery loves company, but it's a little comforting to know it's part of the process, and not just me.

I have decided that even though I can't make it to practice as often as I'd like, I will still get in my skates 5 days a week, even if it means just skating around my apartment. Thanksgiving was spent on skates, practicing pivots and plow stops. I also practiced blocking against the wall, for what it was worth. Every little bit helps, and it certainly can't hurt to do some squats in skates during commercial breaks.

Wish me luck!

sock blocking

2009-11-15T05:07:00.000-08:00

I took my written rules test yesterday and passed. Now I'm wondering if I should have used that practice time to practice my blocking and pack skating instead - because I need the practice. We have our next assessment coming up on Wednesday, and I'm not up to par yet. For the blocking, I need to work on timing and skate control. Ultimately, I need to practice some stuff at home - like blocking in a doorway (hitting each side of the doorway with my body while on skates) and keeping my weight over my heels. For pack skating, I need to work on keeping my feet "small". What this means: keeping my skates on the ground and using minimal motion to propel myself forward while skating within touching distance of several other skaters, so I don't trip them or myself. I also need to work on quick recoveries from falls, as my knee drops don't seem light enough - and they take me way out of the pack. Well, lots to work on.

The vets have been trying various drills to get the fresh meat to learn how to scrimmage. Last week, we tried a "sock scrimmage", where we just ran around the track in our socks, blocking each other and trying to jam through the pack. We were wondering if the vets just made us do that to get a good laugh, because we must have looked so stupid. It was ridiculous and hilarious all at the same time. Yesterday, we started working on defense and offense in packs while on skates, and I looked stupid, but for a different reason - as I was tripping and falling all over the place - and I wasn't effectively leaning anybody out or blocking. Hmmm, at least it will be good motivation for me at practice today.

On another note, the National Championships are today, and you can check it out live on http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/, or watch the bout on archive. It will be the Oly Rollers vs. the Texas Rollergirls. I had a chance to watch Texas at the Southern Fried Smackdown - and this will be some crazy derby action. These are some amazing athletes, and they dress cool and do it all on skates. One of our pack of fresh meat will be hosting a watching party at her house today - so I will probably check it out there.

In other more personal news, I am fostering a dog. Long story short, I found her through our team classifieds section, so I am watching her until her home situation gets figured out. She is tiny, so she is getting along well with my Jack Russell terrier and is getting along as well-as-can-be-expected with my cat. She's a farter, but she's an incredibly cool dog. If I get a chance, I will post some pictures here.

that's what she said...

2009-11-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

The hematoma from my great big bruise is finally dying down, and now I feel a little less injured when I skate. We have been practicing blocking and pack skating in preparation for our next assessment. During a recent practice, we got split up into groups of 4. I was in a group with three vets. One vet kept yelling at me to get lower in derby position, then she'd knock into me pretty hard during our drills. I'm sure it was a 50% hit for her, but I am apparently the Monica Seles of derby, in that I grunt like a farm animal anytime anybody hits me. I think the other vets were worried about me. I know I need to get lower. I'm trying to get lower. It's not easy. I was kind of irked. I know she meant well, and I'd rather it be her than an opposing team that is teaching me these lessons, but I just needed some time and space to allow it to soak in. After the next practice, she let me know that I was improving - so that's a good sign. After practice yesterday, my quads and calves are feeling it - so I know I was working the derby form.

Although I'm not good at it yet, I really like blocking. I think blocking may be my thing, but I'll give it some more time before I come to a decision on that one. I will occasionally land a really solid hit or lean somebody off the track - which feels really cool - just like the first time you learn to skip a stone over the water or learn how to whistle. I see a lot of practice on timing and a lot of squats in my future. oy.

random quote from a practice where we were practicing the "sit and hit" drill (where one blocker booty blocks the jammer and another blocker swoops in from the side to knock the jammer off of the track):

Sitter (realizing she needs to booty block a little bit more): hmmmm, I need to get you further up my butt.

me (jammer): that's what she said.

Don't worry, it's all good clean fun.

The name game

2009-11-01T17:35:00.000-08:00

Some quick snippets of a conversation I was having with Nick at SFS a month ago....

Nick: You know there's a guy in the UFC named Kimbo Slice. If I were a derby girl, I'd name myself Bimbo Slice!

later....

Nick: (after watching some larger women skate around the track) Have you heard of Body by Jake? If I were a big girl, my derby name would be Body by Cake.

Me: No woman would give herself the name Body by Cake!

Nick: But there's a woman on the track right now named [name evoking a largish animal but omitted here].

Me: True....but I think that's pretty isolated. Body by Cake is going to be tough sell, Bimbo.

another milestone

2009-10-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

I have been preparing for the first of our intermediate assessments. I skated Sat, Sun, and Monday of last weekend (along with skating in the local Halloween parade), and the three days in a row really took their toll. On Monday night, I was practicing a plow stop when I tripped awkwardly and tumbled forward head-over-heels, torquing my left hamstring in the process. I could have assessed at the next practice on Wednesday night, but I decided to let my body rest. I wore a ton of Icy-Hot patches this week, and was walking like a gimp earlier in the week. The rest days were really helpful. I came back to practice on Saturday...not 100%, but well enough to weather the beating.

Just to explain: On Monday night, I had a discussion after practice with my friend Michelle, and I discussed feeling bad for not making all the practices or for half-assing the practices I was making, and she said "We all have lives outside of here. You have to figure out what works for you and not worry about anybody else's timelines." It was something I had been telling myself all along, but it was really comforting to hear somebody else saying it. We left the rink at 11:15. I then drove to a CVS on the way home to get a prescription filled. I wandered the aisles all sweaty, in shorts showing my huge bruise and a fleece jacket (it was 50 degrees outside) at midnight. I got some strange looks. I also purchased some Halloween candy and Icy Hot patches. I must have looked crazy.

So, I was able to make it through practice yesterday and assess today. Every practice seems like the hardest practice ever. I realize I need to get to practices earlier -so I can warm-up before the "warm-up", which we usually do with the vets - and usually seems like a workout before the workout. We are all pouring sweat before we stretch - it kind of throws me for a loop. I need more of a gradual warm-up, where I can adjust my skates if I need to.

Some things went well today (stops) and some things didn't (sprawl and fall), but I passed the assessment, which is a relief - because I left it all out there on the rink floor. I was totally spent and I could barely move after practice. If nothing else, I would have been proud that I put myself out there that much. This is seriously the hardest thing I have ever done, and I've done some pretty impressive stuff in my day.

I have made a promise to myself to make 75% of practices - because that is what will work in my life given my work situation and everything else I'm trying to balance right now. I think this will work well for my body - as it will give me time to rest during the week, and give 100% at the practices I do make - with less tendency to injure myself in the process.

On an adorable sidenote, my cat has taken a real liking to my derby gear. She prefers to sleep on it, or when it is not in the house - she sleeps next to my outdoor wheels which are on the floor in a plastic bag. I would take this as a compliment, except that she also likes to sleep next to my shoes - so this must mean that my derby pads reek. I am going to test wash them on the "hand wash" cycle, because febreze is only a band-aid solution. However, it is cute to have an adorable cat sleep on my gear bag. I will include a picture soon.

Big things

2009-10-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

I officially have the largest bruise I've ever had in my life. Okay, that's a lie. I had a worse bruise about 6 years ago after a bad fall during skiing - the kind of bruise where you show somebody and they recoil and yell "Oh my God!", like they are not entirely sure you're okay or if they should call 911. My current bruise is not as big as that bruise, but on the same scale. It is still recoil-worthy.

I had to post a picture of this. I added my hand to the picture for scale. It may not look impressive due to the low light conditions that make the bruise look washed out, but that shiz is purply-black all the way through. It's fast on it's way to becoming black and yellow. It's still a little puffy and sore- so I'm not sure if I should start messaging it out (I do that now that I am getting some severe bruises, I didn't with one - and now I have a perma-lump underneath my skin).

Has this happened to any other fresh-meat?

This bruise is on a totally innocent area of my body, I swear.

Good practice

2009-10-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

I finally felt like I had a good practice last night. I missed a few practices over the weekend due to traveling out of state for a wedding, so I was eager to get skating again on Monday. I was also eager to see how much energy I would have now that I've cut the dosage of some of my medication in half. The medication makes me a little sluggish - so I was hoping that I would have a lot more energy for practice last night, which I did. I also loosened my trucks (again) and tightened up my wheels - as T-stops have been difficult with as much wheel "chatter" as I have been having. All lead to a huge improvement. General energy was up, maneuverability was up, and T-stops and plow stops were tons easier. It was still a difficult practice, but not the kind of drop-dead feeling I had been having over the past two weeks.

We practiced whips, pack skating, weaving. At one point, we were using whips to move from the back of a pace line to the front, and an overzealous inside whip nearly threw me into the wall. Thankfully she caught me with the other arm on the other side. All I have to say about that is that people from Iceland are strong.

I have a few more practices before I can go on to the next assessments, but I am feeling better about the assessments now.

missed practice

2009-10-05T19:46:00.001-07:00

I missed practice - not because I wanted to, but because I had to finish up some work. Silly job.

Ow!

2009-10-05T03:15:00.000-07:00

More practice pain on Sunday. It seems like every practice is now the hardest practice ever. I won't go into too many details about the practice, other than to say that when we were skating around the track, our practice leader held out her arm below her shoulder and said "You should be in derby position, which means you should be below this line." We concluded practice by doing a wall-sit with our skates on, which for most of us meant that we were balanced on our toe stops. World of pain. This has been a real quad and lower back-busting experience. I went home and did the epsom salt bath - but I'm not sure if it helped. I'll just see if I can power through today and make it to practice tonight (plyo in the parking lot for half an hour then skating for 1.5).

Send me well-wishes, I need them.

holy schnikeys!

2009-10-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

Our practice yesterday was mind-blowingly hard, and I wasn't even hung over from the awards banquet. It seemed like it lasted 4-1/2 hours, even though it was only 2.

We practiced cutting right and left - weaving through some cones - using our knees to make our skates navigate properly. We also did a lot of squatting and derby position, doing a pyramid of holding squats on our skates in 30 second increments up to 2 minutes and back down again. After the 1 minute mark, I literally couldn't hold it, so I had to keep standing up to loosen my quads up and then try again for another ten seconds. I was almost in tears - mostly from the pain, but partially from the frustration of not being able to do it. After that and some drilling I thought "okay, practice is over now". Then we formed a pace line (no more than one arm's length apart from the person in front of you - which is a challenge in itself). Then we were told to weave in between the members of the pace line. My first thought was "I can barely keep up with the pace line, how am I going to come from the back, weave, and pass everbody in the pace line?" It felt like we did a hundred laps during this drill. After we were done I thought "Okay, practice is over." Then we were asked to do the same drill again. The second time around I fell while weaving (on my bum, not small and forward and on my protective gear like I am supposed to), but managed to get up, sprint around the track, catch up to where I left off, and finish the drill. I guess I had more in me than I thought I did.

Then we did some exercises to strengthen our shins. Then I thought "Okay, practice is over." That's when our practice leader said "We still have 26 minutes. Then we practiced pack skating - skating in very close formation and moving around quickly in that formation. At one point, another skater pushed me when I wasn't ready for it, and I fell again - again on my bum, but at least I got up and kept going. Then we practiced plow stops - which I need to sit into more if I want to make them more effective.

It was a really hard and personally frustrating practice. I know I'm going to make mistakes and I'm doing my best to learn from them, I just didn't want to do that much learning in one day, I suppose (takeaways- do more squats! be in better shape! fall forward! use your knees to weave and bend those knees!).

I think our practice leader understood that some of us were frustrated, and asked everybody who fell during practice to raise their hand (~8 hands raised), then asked everybody who fell more than once to raise their hand (~3 hands raised, including mine). She then went on to explain that falling is a part of derby, it's nothing to be embarrassed about - and that if you don't fall you might not be pushing yourself hard enough. This was a really thoughtful thing to say, as I know we were all wondering "Do I just suck at this?", and it was a great way to say "No, you are just learning and this is the process by which you do that - keep it up."

More practice tomorrow (and the day after). I will keep you posted on how I am holding up. Wish me luck.

black eye affair

2009-10-04T04:37:00.001-07:00

With the Southern Fried Smackdown finished last weekend, we had our season-ending banquet and awards on Friday night. The theme was a "Black Eye Affair", so formal wear and bruises were in order. I had to work a 12 hour day, so I wasn't sure I would make it, but I managed to zip home, zip on a dress, and improvise a black-eye, bruised cheek and stitches and still make it before the awards were handed out.

A fun time was had by all (maybe too much fun for some), and all the bruises (real and made-up) made for a really interesting twist on the "Black-Tie" theme. Some fresh-meat really went above and beyond with the costumes with fake blood, torn fishnets, torn dresses, and fake claw marks. As usual, it was a pretty fun crowd. At one point, I was starving, so I grabbed some food during the awards ceremony and started chowing down. Due to work, I had arrived about an hour and a half late - so everybody else had already finished eating. I apologized to the veteran skater sitting next to me. "Sorry I'm such a piglet...I'm starving." "Oh please," she said "this is a roller derby party, don't worry about it."

Yet another reason why I love this sport.

Awards were handed out to different players on each team and also to the refs, which means a lot to me, as referees play a really integral part in our sport - and they are most likely underappreciated for it. (My father is an umpire, so I know all-too-well how much abuse players can heap on the people making judgement calls during the games.) All the refs received zebra-themed awards, which was really cool and thoughtful. I didn't get a good look at the awards the players were getting (maybe next year, hehe).

Stayed afterwards for a bit of dancing, and then cut out shortly before midnight, as we had practice at 9 the next morning, and it had been one heck of a long week.

the results are in....

2009-09-23T03:40:00.000-07:00

After three months of hard work and preparation, several sweat soaked practices with the team, and a three-hour tryout period I am able to say

I'm officially Fresh Meat!

So, I have made it through the first assessments, now on to practicing with the team and learning derby specific skills. In another three months we'll have our second assessments, where we'll learn if we are eligible to be drafted onto a team. Tonight we have our first practice as Fresh Meat (I am Canadian Bacon), so we will see how that goes. My guess is that practices are going to ramp up very quickly. Previous practices with the newbies took into account a wide range of speeds and abilities, and we've narrowed that down now - so it's going to be faster and tougher. I'm looking forward to it, but then again, I'm sure you'll read about me whining about practices as well - such is life. I decided to join roller derby to have fun and as always in this process, that is what I will focus on to keep me going. That and all the fantastic friends I have made along the way that have traveled down the same path to get here. Congratulations ladies!

first assessments complete

2009-09-20T11:04:00.001-07:00

quick recap of the first assessments:

Started off with a long warm up of weaving between a line of moving people. Then we tackled the 5 minute test, which I was really pretty pleased with. Then the 1 minute test. After that, we covered the following skills

1 foot glides

jumping from one foot to another

slalom

T-stops

knee drops

baseball slides

all-fours falls

exaggerated derby-position and crossovers, then crossovers in the opposite directions

two foot weaving

1 foot weaving - each foot

pivots - front to back and back to front

pivots with toe-stops

And now the waiting game begins. We have been told that we will receive calls after 7 p.m. tonight to let us know if we passed. Although some skills didn't play out as well as I would have liked, I feel like I did well, so I will keep you posted. I'm off for some well-deserved nap-time now.

tryouts tomorrow...

2009-09-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

So tryouts are tomorrow. I've been skating pretty hard this week, and my bruises have bruises (I wish I could fall forward, onto my kneepads, but no, I fall backwards - onto my hips, youch). I'm going to go out, have a relaxing night, and hope that all goes well tomorrow. Not much more I can do to prepare except have a few G&T's tonight. Peace out.

T minus 2 days...

2009-09-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

Two more days until first assessments! I am very excited, as this will feel like the first 'official' step to becoming a rollergirl. I'm confident that I will pass first assessments, but a little nervous - which all bodes well. I just need to make sure I don't bonk my noggin' like I did in practice on Wednesday night. Thank goodness for helmets and mouthguards.

our goose is totally loose....

2009-09-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

....that part of the cheer from Buffy the Vampire Slayer always makes me laugh.

Short practice tonight. Loosened the trucks on the skates - and the manueverability is tons better. We didn't have cones - so I couldn't practice weaving around them, but I felt tons more mobile. We practiced weaving in between each other, pivots (I unlocked my pivot potential - now I can more easily just jump from skating forward to skating backward and back again!), and hip-whips. It feels good to be "mastering" a lot of these skills - especially given the fact that I haven't had a lot of opportunity to skate lately. Today I am sated.

Last Workshop

2009-09-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

We had our final workshop before our intial assessments happen later this month. I haven't been on skates for a week - as the professional life has been really demanding as of late. I wasn't too worried about it and hoped that it would mean I would feel well rested, although a week of spotty sleep would probably affect me in some subtle ways during the practice.

Warm ups included skating closely in a line. We did some follow the leader by slaloming, hopping to the left and right , and performing squats while skating around the track. This was fine, but I did notice that I was sweating after the warm-ups. I don't think this is so much an issue with fitness as it's an issue with the insulative capability of my helmet. I've always heard that a lot of heat escapes from a person's head. From experience, I can say that my gigantic, fair head turns a shade somewhere between crimson and purple when exercising and radiates as much heat as a small, newly formed sun. Case in point: In eighth grade I would finish up gym class and head over to band practice. By the time I got to the practice room, I was fine - kind of warm, but I had regained my breath and was only feeling the baseline amount of awkward that I always felt in Junior High. Every day our band director, Mrs. Lewis, would stop me on my way in and ask if I was allright - and give me permission to go get some water, should I need it. To give her credit - the redness of my face made me look like somebody who was suffering from a heat stroke or heart attack. I told her countless times that because I was fair skinned the red face was from running, but she still stopped me everyday anyway. It is that bad. So it is when I skate and wear my helmet. The heat tries to rise away from my head, and is trapped between my skin and the styrofoam and foam padding of my helmet.

There has got to be a way to make that thing cooler. There has to be a safe helmet that has some cooling gel in it - like you could pop it in the refrigerator overnight. Why hasn't anybody done anything about this yet?? I can't be the only one with a gross, hot, sweaty noggin who is willing to pay a premium to keep it both cool and safe. There is a market for this.

Back to the workshop...

After warmups, we split into two groups and did our 5 minute lap test. The groups were a little more varied that what we've been seeing lately at the practices. There were a couple of spills and more variable speeds on the track. I found it to be a lot more fun, as I felt more comfortable getting agressive and stepping through the pack, cutting the turn, and maneuvering around people. I even used my "duck" run (formerly referred to as the chop run - where you turn your feet out to get more traction when running), which I was pretty proud of. Afterwards, my partner told me I had 24 laps, but she didn't sound very sure and I think I was closer to 26, based on the lap counts for some other folks I was skating with and my finish position relative to them. Although 26 is not a lot higher than what I got last time, I was happy with it from the standpoint that I had to run around a lot more people and I've been out for a week. We'll see if I can get 28 laps by first assessments.

We then had a 1 minute break (watching the other group perform the 1 minute lap test), and were back up for our 1 minute test. The short time elapse between the two tests really sucked. However, I was happy that I was able to get 5 laps in, even when dead tired - so I've made a heck of a lot of progress from the last workshop - when I only got 4.5 laps in when I was feeling up to full power. These are all helping me build a lot of confidence going into first assessments.

We then broke into two groups, to practice skills. My group practiced 2 foot and 1 foot weaving, toe starts, pivots, and backwards toe stops. The one foot weaving still wasn't perfect, but I did successfully navigate all of the cones once on my right foot. It was a relief to hear that the cones would be 5 feet apart. I am still having a lot of difficulty in turning to the outside. I can easly turn to the inside on either skate, but my skate feels a lot more stiff in turning to the outside. I keep loosening my skate trucks to get a little more give, but I haven't found that magic place yet.

Toe starts, pivots, and toe stops were fun. I'm no pro yet, I'm getting much better at going backwards.

Then onto the second station to practice derby position. The best way to describe derby position to say you look like you're trying to sit down on an imaginary chair while wearing your skates. You should be positioned in a deep squat, with your upper body relaxed and your core engaged. This is a real mother on your quads, as they are bearing a lot of the burden in this stance. This position will help us to be more stable when skating and, eventually, when getting hit - as the closer you are to the ground and the more bent your legs are - the harder you are to knock over. We did some more cutting to the inside and outside of the track - and again, I am having difficulty in turning to the outside with my lead foot - that pesky skate stiffness. I have resolved to play on my skates tonight or tomorrow in my apartment (yay for wood floors!), to see if I can make some progress here.

We also practiced falls and quick recoveries: alternating one knee falls, alternating legs for baseball falls, and superman falls. Falls tend to be the sneak attack in terms of wearing you out - as they require a boatload of core strength, and can occasionally knock the wind out of you (in the case of superman falls). I was hurting after this one, but I felt pretty good about my recoveries - I was getting back up and duck running to full speed pretty well.

All in all, a good experience. Although I am completely kaput, I have made a heck of a lot of progress in the last month - so it was a great benchmark.

After the workshop, a large group of us went to the diner near the rink to appease the post-practice munchies. I'm sorry to say, that this diner gets the thumbs down from me. They make a good chocolate shake, but the rest of the food has not been up to par and the service has been pretty poor as well. I can forgive the service issue, but the food issue is a non-negotiable. I know what to expect from diner food. I'm not looking for healthy cuisine by a long shot. However, when you're already dealing with the kind of food that diners serve, (the fatty, greasy, full-of-calories delicious kind), you need to couple that with good flavors. Although I eat like a horse when I'm there, it's not with the kind of joy I would have if my burger tasted like it had any seasoning on it or if the fries didn't taste like they baked them in the oven. From now on I'm going to lead a revolt to go to Wendy's after practice, anywhere but the diner. Ugh.

More mad props

2009-09-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

I would like to give a shout-out to my friend Slyght, who has directed so much traffic my way in the past few weeks (Statcounter doesn't lie, my friend....Hello Sweden, and San Antonio, and Colorado), that I had to thank him!

Ladies, if you like handsome, fun, humourous, modest midwestern guys who will treat you right and are gainfully employed, Slyght is your guy. He comes female-recommended, has a pretty cool mom, has traveled the world several times over, and although he would pay for dinner and probably hold open the door for you- he won't be steppin' all over your independance. Evil game-playing girls need not apply - or I will hip check you into next week.

Slyght, when you get a chance to visit, I will definitely introduce you to the gang!

Easy like Sunday morning...

2009-08-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

Got to the rink early today to watch the veterans scrimmage each other. There is still so much to learn about this sport. From my observations, it looks like it is a better bet for the Jammer to keep momentum both approaching and while traveling through the pack - as the Jammers who approached the pack with the most speed were the most successful in clearing the pack. Or it could be the other way around - the Jammers who are more successful in dodging and weaving through the pack can approach the pack with more speed because they are more confident. Either way, once the jammer got stopped in the pack, they were stuck in there like quicksand.

Two-thirds of the newbie group had new wheels that they were trying to break in during today's session. L2 learned the hard way that new wheels have a slick coating that needs to wear off a bit before taking corners with any sort of speed. (either rub that slick coating off of apply some rubbing alchohol to get that slick-schmear off of 'em) Luckily she was okay and jumped right back into things. I practiced the speed-skating position, running toe-stops, and running "chop starts".

We all practiced hip whips - where a skater grabs another skater by the hips from behind, pulls as hard as she can, and "steals" the momentum from the skater in front to "whip" herself forward. If you are the skater in front, the key to not falling is to be in deep-squatting derby position, otherwise you might end up on the floor. We are finding it challenging to get a good grip during this exercise - we either want to slow down to get a good grip or we are going so fast that we don't get much momentum transfer from the skater in front. However, if we slow down to get a better grip, we are defeating the purpose of the whip. I will use an analogy we heard a lot in rowing to describe what it will be like to find the right balance. It will be like trying to make a bicycle wheel move faster by pushing the spokes with a stick. You want to position the stick to effectively push the spokes to move, but you also cannot move the stick so slowly as to have a spoke from behind catch the stick and slow the wheel down.

We also practiced hand whips as well, and I realized I have an annoying habit - whenever things feel awkward for me, or I'm putting forth a lot of effort - I'm grunting a la Monica Seles circa the 90s. It is completely involuntary and completely embarassing. I guess the grunting will be a good barometer for my comfort level with different skill sets.

Second Practice - Redemption

2009-08-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today's practice was more focused on drilling our skills, and little less on endurance. We did start off with a 1 minute test, and then a 5 minute test. 1 minute = 5 laps, and 5 minutes was 25.5 laps - which means that I'm going faster in the 5 minutes than the 1 minute?? Either way, I'm not too worried about it. The 5 minutes felt a lot smoother today - I was taking the straghtaways pretty wide so I could push myself harder around the turns and cross over the entire time - essentially skating in a circle. I also focused more of looking at where I was going, instead of at the ground. Sounds silly, I know, but it is tremendously helpful. The new lower body posture also helped a lot with being able to get more aggressive. All in all, I was really happy with my performance.

We also practiced pivots (I can now pivot front to back and back to front without a lot of drama or falling - yay! The hard work is paying off!), running toe starts, running "chop" starts, T stops, weaving, and a whole host of other skills. I'm still getting used to the T-stops with my looser wheels - they are a little less in control now that my wheels ride more loosely on the axle. The looser skate trucks is helping with the weaving, so I'm getting excited that I might finally "get" the weaving instead of it being an unattainable skill.

I also got a smaller mouthguard, and although it doesn't fit my teeth super snug - it was small enough to not mess with my breathing today. It was also lanyarded to my helmet - so I didn't have to shove it into my sportsbra. That lanyard is a life saver.

We finished up practice with some relay races testing different skills, and my team full of newbies was really awesome. In one relay, we all had to hold on to the hips of the skater in front while she pulled the entire relay team across the floor, then we'd regroup on the other side of the rink and the same skater would get beind the group and push us back to our starting position. It was a weird drill, but a lot of fun. Now I know that I can pull three other skaters across the floor, which will possibly be useful someday. These drills are also really usefull in that they are forcing us to skate really closely to one another and to communicate with each other so we get used to skating in a pack. We had some pretty comical stops, but we are learning.

Other observation from the skills today - full body falls are hard. They don't look like they would be, but everytime I do them - I'm huffing and puffing afterwards like I'm about to have a heart attack. We've heard that the next 5 minute test that we perform will involve falls, so I need to practice my rebounding skills until I can jump up from a full-body fall with cat-like reflexes like it was no big deal.

After practice, we hit the diner, where mad carbs were consumed. I had the burger, but in the future, I think I'm going to stick with breakfast food after practice, as eggs have been singing me a siren song of delicious, golden, yolky goodness lately. Mmmm... eggs, bacon, and cheese grits. Sounds like a complete breakfast to me.

Overall, I have to give mad props to all the other girls on the team. I've been seeing a ton of improvement in everybody over just the past two weeks, and I am immensly proud of our group. This pack of fresh meat is gonna tear it up, yo.

First Practice

2009-08-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

Ran from work to home to rink and managed to walk the dog somewhere in that mad rush.

Made it to the rink just in time for things to start up. First things first - we all started skating in a single line really close together - imagine a conga line on wheels, and less festive. Then the person in the back of the line started weaving in between each person on her way up to the front of the line. This was kind of scary, as I'm not used to getting that close to other skaters - so three things entered my mind...

1. I'm gonna clip my skate and trip myself/someone else

2. Shoot! How do I slow down when I'm so close to somebody else?

3. Ahh! I passed three people instead of weaving in between them. Crap!

Number 1 was an issue - in that my shy midwestern roots make me polite with strangers - so it would seem to be extremely bad manners to trip them or otherwise feel them up - which you are sort of forced to do when in close quarters. Number 2 - uhg, now I realize that my T-stops require a lot of room - which we don't have in this drill. I saw a few veterans doing more of a "V" stop - just slightly dragging the skates on their inside wheels - instead of going full perpendicular. It's awkward - I'm working on it. Number 3 comes into play when I start weaving and think I'm hot stuff - but then shoot past several people instead of weaving. My control is lacking and my strange internal need to be perfect makes me freeze up when this happens. My mantra: Less self-judgement, more fun.

After I had made it through the line, one of the skaters said that unless we had mouthguards, we weren't allowed on the floor. I didn't know about this one, so I left the floor. A vet was nice enough to give me a never-been-used mouth guard, which I was grateful for. It was kind of cumbersome - I think I must have looked like Sylvester Stallone, but even more profoundly retarded. The problem arose when I tried to think of where to put the thing (it was enormous) when it wasn't in my mouth. Most skaters have the mouthguard attached to their helmet by way of a lanyard - so they can let it hang nearby when not in use. I had to make-do by throwing that thing down the front of my sportsbra. Then I got to experience the joy of putting the salty-sweat covered mouthguard back in. The other issue to consider with the mouthguard when removing in and putting it back in: Do I use my grubby hand, which has touched the floor of the roller-rink and the carpeted surfaced that I'm sure countless socked and bare feet have touched before I got there, to handle the mouthguard? I'm no germophobe, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. Case in point: While waiting in line at the drinking fountain, I spied the 6 yr old in front of me placing her entire mouth over the water spigot, and I was like "Hell no." as I turned around and banished myself to dehydration-ville.

Eventually, comfort won out, and I had touch the mouthguard with my hand. It's okay, I told myself, you've put far worse things in your mouth.*

Then we all did the 5 minute drill. Newbies skating only, vets with falls. I got 24 laps. I was definitely feeling the wall-sits from the night before. I look forward to the day when I can go all out without feeling fatigued or like I'm going to go out of control and fall. I need to find the fierce medium. Then we did some pack skating at 70%/80%/90%/All out and I was f*cking toast. I fell and my lungs were fighting with my stomach for internal organ room and there was no way I was catching up. I did manage to get up and keep moving though. The next part is a blur of foggy muscle memory, but I think we did some alternating laps/situps/pushups with a partner. My push up capacity is near zero, so this was akin to being in a prisoner of war camp for me. So painful. Then a 2 1/2 minute drill, where the object was to complete at least half of the laps you completed during the 5 minute test. I came close at 11.75. Next time I will get it.

Then more weaving drill with a veteran partner. This wasn't so bad. I still fell (seriously, was I the only person that fell on accident that night? dangit!), but managed to get up. I guess I need to give up the midwestern politeness and just get used to getting close to nearly total strangers. We then did wierd shin excercises - which didn't seem to strengthen my shins as much as it tested my ability to balance on my heels...on skates. Then we were asked to do it on one skate, and all the newbies gave each other the conspiratorial look and said "maybe next time", and continued to work it on two skates.

Then off with the skates, on with the shoes, and onto the floor excercises which consisted of running, squatting, jumping over cones, and running backwards in different configurations. It reminded me a lot of grade school gym class.

Then stretching, then home, then to bed with no shower because I was exhausted.

If somebody would like to adopt an adult who cannot take care of herself - I am your ideal candidate. I respond well to free feedings and ample naptime. I an unable to find these things on my own.

More this weekend as our second practice is tomorrow morning!

*Let me be clear here: During play practice in 11th grade (A Christmas Carol, the musical), my friend Aaron offered me some El Rio dessert treats, saying "Try it, it's the worst thing you'll ever put in your mouth." They came in a box, and looked pretty harmless, so I tried one. It tasted cardboardy, so I chewed and swallowed without much thought. Then once the dessert treat had slid about halfway down my gullet, Aaron said "I can't believe you finished it. Doesn't it taste like paint chips?!" at which point, I realized that it did, indeed taste the way paint smelled. I spent the next hour of play practice gagging and begging tic-tacs off of my friends to cover the taste. Worst-thing-ever.

First practice

2009-08-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our first practice with the team veterans.

Today I hurt.

Write more tomorrow. Another practice with the vets on Saturday, where I will crush my performance from last night. Grrrr!

DIY skate repair and wheels of fury

2009-08-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I performed a little necessary repair action on my skate boots. I currently own the Rock GT 50 skate as my starter set and will keep them for the next few months before moving up to a better model. Within the first month of using the GT 50s, one of the eyelets popped out and the synthetic leather near the hole started tearing. The lace was hanging by a thread until yesterday, when the connection point completely gave way. I decided to take matters into my own hands, so I decided to use my Dremel to create a new hole a little further down on the boot. I shoved the metal eyelet into the hole, and it works for now. Once I get around to crazy gluing the eyelet into the hole - then I'll feel more confident in its longevity. See also my new tuners, which I purchased yesterday. I stupidly waded down to the skate shop before the Paul McCartney show was supposed to begin. "Where is all this traffic coming from?" I wondered. Then I realized the big show was in town, "Oh, shit." Thankfully, the skate shop had its own parking, and I was able to get in and out in a reasonable time frame. I also let myself get talked into toe-guards. Not sure if that was wise considering I'm going to get new boots in a few months, but I am susceptible to a sales pitch, what can I say?

We had another really good practice today, but it was fair to say that a lot of us were feeling pretty fatigued. We completed another 5 minute lap trial, and I got 1 more lap in today, in spite of dodging children and parents who found their way onto the track. The new wheels felt so much smoother and were fantastically grippy. It felt tons more stable around the corners. At around lap 8 or so, I tried to reset myself and get into low derby stance, but my hip muscles were like "Where do you think you're going?" All around it is a good kind of tired - as it means I am building the right kinds of endurance and muscle. I am still getting a little bit of "chatter" on my wheels while rounding the corners - so I am going to experiment with loosening my wheel-nuts another half-turn to see if that remedies the situation.

After the 5 minute lap trial, more weaving was in store for us. I had loosened my skate trucks (as my feet had finally gotten used to the initial wobbliness of the previous adjustment) this morning, and that helped a lot with the weaving. I almost made it through all of the cones once or twice. Nobody was there to see it, but it happened....swear to God. I also practiced a little of my newfound jumping skills, by hopping from one foot to another and doing some "full" jumps with both skates at the same time. It's not the jumping that scares me, its the loosing control while going full-tilt that freaks me out.

All of this followed a late night of Rock Band at L's house. The newbie group got together to try out our RB skills. I'm okay at drumming, but T can kick my ass in that category (it must be the basting brush we used for the drumstick). I had to leave around 2, because I am old and my physically conservative constitution means that I can't stay up that late anymore. I was also an unintentional teetotaler, in that I didn't have any beer. Sometimes you feel like a beer and sometimes you don't. We talked politics, we talked astrology, we talked car accidents and Mardi Gras plans. All in all, it was a fun night, but since I had been going since 6:30 that morning, my body needed a rest, and it was going to take my brain with it, whether I wanted it to or not.

I also forgot to mention in yesterday's post that I wanted to send a big shout out to T and J, who picked me up and dropped me off from the car dealership so that I could make it to practice. What awesome friends! My ride had been giving me the "check engine" light this week, and since I want my car to last another few years, I decided to heed it's call. It all turned out well, in that the light did not signal anything significant, and I was able to get an oil change and a complete car detail for $35 bucks. Not bad! Yay, more money for new skates when I decide to buy them. Thanks guys for going out of your way to pick me up, it totally made my day!

Drills, Skills, and Kills

2009-08-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Today was a really fruitful day at the rink. We had 9 newbies show up for open skate, which is a new record for an unofficial practice day. We decided to take advantage of the emptiness of the rink at the beginning of the session by fitting in one of our endurance tests. We decided to run the 5 minute test to benchmark how many laps we could fit in. As this was my first time trying this and I'm borderline out of shape, I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to finish the minimum number of laps.

We decided to run it in two flights, with half of the folks sitting out and timing/counting laps for those who were skating. The lap counters also doubled as track markers, and stood near the outer edges of the track boundaries to prevent non-derby skaters from getting taken out by derby skaters rounding a corner.

We found some kinks that we can work out on future runs - primarily being that slower skaters yield to the outside of the track when an oncoming skater yells "inside!" We had a few instances where we didn't know what the track ettiquette should be, and folks made do by just skating around slower skaters. Overall, we were all glad to have done it, whether we made the "first assessment" benchmark or not. It was a good chance to set our own benchmark so we can work on it through the first assessments.

I went on the second flight, and fell during my second lap, but I got back up and kept going. I was a little spooked during the rest of the time and was playing it a little cautious. I almost fell a second time, and realized I was nearly dragging my toe-stop during my crossovers. After that, I felt a little more stable. I completed 22.5 laps, which was a good run for the first time. Just finishing felt pretty amazing! I can't wait until I feel stable enough to go full tilt for the entire 5 minutes. I want to be at 30 laps for first assessments as a personal goal. It will keep me motivated to push myself every successive time I try this.

On another note of full-tilt fun - I completely plowed over a 10 yr old today. I was rounding a corner and as luck would have it, he decided to skate directly in front of me and stop (other people, what?) There wasn't any time to stop or avoid it, and during that split second where I could see exactly what was going to happen, I was at peace with running into him. There was nothing I could do, and it was a good life lesson for him to learn: you're not the only person here, watch out! When we both hit the floor, I repeatedly asked him if he was okay. He just dusted himself off, jumped up, and skated away like he was freaking Gumby...while I warily looked around for an angry charging mother. Thankfully she either wasn't watching, didn't care, or wasn't present, so I avoided danger on that count. About 5 minutes later, I saw him runnning into his friend and pushing him down...sigh...so much for life lessons.

Our drills for the day involved weaving on 1 and 2 feet between cones and doing a little more "slalom", where we throw our weight over the leading foot and wide-weave side to side. The 1 foot weave still eludes all of us, but we keep working on it. We were able to keep our cone setup for a while until the kids decided it was thier playground. Then once they had saturated the area, we picked up the cones and went on our way. I'm not surprised about the children who skate through, I am surprised by the adults who skate through - as we are a pretty distinctive group of people (knee pads, elbow pads,wrist guards, helmets, long striped socks) in the melee on the rink floor. We're also pretty disciplined about it: we form lines, we're following an order and a traffic pattern, and we're doing something pretty specific. So, although the kids are annoying, the parents that skate through are the ones who really piss me off. There is plenty of space on the floor, find your own. I know it's everybody's floor, but really? Is your 4 yr old going to be enriched by ruining our drill by falling in the middle of it, rather than over in the corner where he was falling BEFORE WE SET UP THE CONES? Some people just gotta rattle cages, I suppose.

I am excited about practice tomorrow, as I just purchased some red Radar Tuners (picture coming soon) to replace the factory wheels on my skates! I hope the extra grippiness gives me a little more stability while rounding the turns.

Today was also and honorable mention day because a derby boyfriend (widow) joined in the skating for a day. It is a brave man who skates among us. Although he did not don any protective gear, he was showing of his weaving skills and mad dance moves. His girlfriend must be so proud.

First meetup

2009-08-01T18:13:00.001-07:00

On Monday evening, I was able to meet up with a few other newbies who are trying out for the team. We decided to meet at the open skate at the nearby rink. I called L to let her know that I was running late. "We just got in, we had to wait 15 minutes to get in. It is packed in here," she said. The $1 skate night strikes again - the rink was absolutely packed. When the rink is packed, it gives you a good opportunity to test out your manueverability skills. You dodge jam skaters, children, and people who look like they are going to fall right in front of you. It makes you a sharper skater. You can also use the sheer density of people to practice skating in a close pack and dodging and weaving in between folks.

After the open skate, the skate floor is reserved for the roller derby team, and we were able to watch a little bit of the practice. We were even recruited by one of the Refs to help time the penalty boxes. Then the team captain saw us and ordered us to start doing squats. Then it started to feel like I was pledging a sorority - a little weird hazing feeling had descended upon us.

After about 75 squats and 2 penalty time outs, we decided to go grab a few beers.

As the night barrelled forth, and we knocked back a few, I realized that I really like the other new derby hopefuls. They are all cool, have their own thing going on, and all have a punk-rock, fun-lovin' ethos that I thrive off of. Perhaps I'm being too quick to jump on the bandwagon, but it was the most fun I have had in a while - and I needed the fun.

So, here's to all of my new derby friends - thanks for making my week and kick-starting my derby experience with an awesome positive start!